Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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