wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
this is an emotional support booty call
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
