that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
