It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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