if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
