My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
