I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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