..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
