I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
