Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She's the barista slut.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
