I cockslap morals
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
