we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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