Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
