And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
