Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
