pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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