Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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