Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
