john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We need to get me chipped asap
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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