no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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