I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
