I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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