You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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