Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Your dad touched me again.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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