Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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