think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
