i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
