turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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