Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
