you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need to calm my uterus...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize