I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This baby is an asshole
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
