he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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