We're facebook friends in real life
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize