Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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