i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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