I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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