They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
