Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize