is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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