so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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