this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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