But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize