Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
