There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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