It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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