Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
