i think i have two assholes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
