the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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