Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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