I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
