At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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