He uses pillows to masturbate.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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