i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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