He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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