Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
