No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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