So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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