Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
