...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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